A Lesson in Christian Mentoring
During and after my divorce, I was struggling financially, personally, and spiritually. I owned a business in a mall – a 12’x12’ kiosk from which I sold pretzels, chips, cookies, soft drinks, coffee, and lottery tickets. I was so overwhelmed, that the only thing I could do was seek God’s help.
God had been putting a variety of people in my life to lead me to Him. Each person had a special word for me that I could hang onto for the day or week until the next word came to build on the previous one. Then one day, someone special came to my kiosk. Someone who would change my life forever.
I was at work, and I noticed an old lady shuffle up to my kiosk. I asked if I could help her. She slammed the palm of her hand on the counter of the kiosk and said in a loud voice, “Give me some of that great coffee!” I thought she must be mistaken, and I let her know that the specialty coffee shop was in the store behind mine. She said, “I want some of your great coffee!” So, I served her. But I was hooked, totally intrigued. I thought to myself, “Who is this crazy lady?”
Her eyes were a beautiful, bright blue and were so alive, they almost sparkled. I was determined to find out more about her. Her name was Dorothy, she was 87 years old when I met her, and she came to the kiosk every day to speak with me.
The first thing she asked was, “Do you know Jesus?” I said, “Sure, I know who He is.” Immediately she realized that I did not have any understanding of who Jesus is and how much He loves me.
As I poured out my woes to her, the first thing she told me was that I needed to forgive. Are you kidding me? Forgive? I had a litany of grievances, a mile long. How could I forgive? After all, wasn’t I the victim in this story? She didn’t budge. She told me that unforgiveness would only hurt me and my children. It wouldn’t do anything to punish my ex-husband. She continued encouraging me to forgive and gave me the following prayer to help get me started.
“I have faith in the living, loving presence of God within me.
How wonderful it is to know that God and I,
Together here, in the midst of this condition, this challenge,
Can heal and perfect all things.
My faith has made me well.”
I memorized that prayer and said it several times a day. It always brought me peace. (It wasn’t until more recently that I realized that the “loving presence of God within me” is the Holy Spirit living within me, who is my comforter, my counselor, my help, leading me in all the truth.)
She continued her mentoring by encouraging me to have absolute faith. She said that many Christians pray, but then say, “What if this? or What if that?” They end up second guessing God and rather than trusting that He will take care of whatever the situation, they try to fix things their own way. I am still working on that. I long for the day when the Lord says, “Do it this way,” and I say, “Yes, Sir!”
Dorothy’s constant message was love. Love your children, love others. Forgiveness is part of this message. Amazingly, she did not use a lot of Scriptures. Her life and her love for me spoke volumes and encouraged me to learn more about the God she so absolutely trusted in. Which is what I did. I read, went to church, Christian meetings. I fervently sought the Lord. And I found Him.
To me it was amazing that the Lord provided me with an unassuming mentor like Dorothy. She was faithful to meet with me daily for three years! Who does that? She would pray for me each time I went to court. She listened to me through all my complaining and questioning. If she couldn’t make it to the mall, I would go to her house for a visit. Each time, without preaching, she encouraged me to draw closer to God and trust in Him completely.
In reflecting, I am humbled and amazed that God would love me so much that He would send a Dorothy to mentor me. I am embarrassed to say that I was so hardheaded and proud, that it took three years to get through to me. It was a process which is still going on over 30 years later. Fortunately, God is patient with us. As we trust in God for our families, we need to remember that and be patient and loving to them.
I went to see her in the hospital when she was dying. She told me that she would be going home soon. I knew she meant heaven and that she would be happy there. She said that she didn’t want to go yet, because there was so much more to do with me. I asked her if she would do me a favor when she left. I said, “Will you put in a good word for me when you go?” She laughed and said, “Of course”.
Dorothy died in December, just before her 90th birthday. Are we ever too old to work for God? A month later, in January, I gave my heart to the Lord and asked Him to be my Savior. I thank God for Dorothy, the time we spent together, and the impact she had on my life.
Quote
“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.” – Henri Nouwen
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