The next season of my life was the most beautiful. Being married to John. If you go to the Podcast section of this site, you can hear the story of how we met and our miraculous wedding by listening to "Mall Order Bride, A True Cinderella Story."
That was just the beginning of living a life in which my husband loved me as God loves me. He loved me just as I am and always encouraged me to be my best self and to do everything as unto the Lord. (Colossians 3:23 "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.") I had never experienced anything like that, and I can tell you that there is nothing better. John loved my children in the same way and was able to show them what Godly love looked like in daily living. I was so blessed that God gave me a husband who was so surrendered to God, that he was capable of loving me as well as everyone he met, the way God loves us all.
Of course, having a blended family, presented its challenges, but through it all, God was with us, helping us every step of the way. In Ecclesiastes 4:12, Scripture says, "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not easily broken." The three strand cord described our marriage: John, myself, and the Lord, holding us together.
Having God as the centerpiece of our marriage set the tone for our relationship and life together. I learned so much from John about loving God and loving others. He sought the Lord in all that he did, so I learned how to do that. He encouraged me to always check the attitude of my heart to see if my motivation for doing something was out of love for another. He always said, "The kingdom of God is righteousness, peace and joy. If one of those components is missing in your life, draw close to God to find out why."
John brought joy and laughter into my life. Once, we read a book called, "Men are Like Waffles and Women are Like Spaghetti". It was fun to read. The basic concept was that men are pretty single minded and tend to put things in categories, so that when they talk about something, they stay on topic. Women, on the other hand, tend to be more like spaghetti, with their thoughts intertwining with each other, so that if they start to talk about something, it reminds them of other things that are related, so they might go off in another direction during a conversation. Without realizing the differences between men and women, that could be frustrating, but understanding this concept eliminates the frustration. John and I would often switch places: sometimes I was waffles and he was spaghetti and then the opposite. Those conversations usually brought some laughter to a situation.
We were blessed with 26 years together. One of the other benefits of being in a Godly marriage like ours is that we each were able to be our authentic selves. We had no prescribed roles that we had to live up to. We worked together and helped each other in whatever way was needed. (Read my Sept. 20, 2022 and Oct. 11, 2022 posts in lessons learned "Completer or Competer" for more on this topic.)
An example of working in our strengths came through our work. After the first year of our marriage, John became the sole provider for our family. He was a painting contractor and even though he suffered from back pain, he worked through it and never complained. I worked with him for seven years after my business closed. As we got older, I could see that, although John never said anything about it, working in such a physically challenging career was becoming more difficult.
I really wanted to be John's best helpmate, but knew that I could never do a painting job by myself, and I was getting older as well. So, I prayed about how God would help me be John's best helpmate, and He answered my prayer by giving me the opportunity to return to school and get a job as a school guidance counselor. (You can read more about this in my March 28, 2023 post "God's Provision" in the testimonies section). With John's unfailing support, I was able to get my master's degree and work at something I loved. This also freed John from having to paint to earn a living. Now he could do what he did best: minister to people everywhere he went. We were both working in our strengths, happy, doing what God created us to do. Praise the Lord!
To be continued May 9, 2023
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