I have been encouraged to post more about relationship regarding this topic.
I knew a professor who, when asked by a high school student, “How do I know if my girlfriend is “the one?” replied, “She should complement you and compliment you.” Sometimes we may get these words confused, so to clear up our understanding, here is a tip from grammerly.com. “A complement is related to completion, while a compliment relates to flattering words or acts.”
So how does this translate to relationships? Before considering a close relationship, spend some time thinking about the kind of person you would want in a close relationship. What would his/her values, characteristics, and beliefs look like? If you do this first, you will be drawn to people who have what you are looking for.
When you meet someone, aside from any physical attraction, consider whether their strengths and weaknesses are complementary to yours. By this I mean, when you come together, can you each help the other to fulfill your full potentials?
Then you can ask whether he/she compliments you. Does he/she respect, love, like, and admire who you are as a person and what you can bring to the relationship? Does his/her behavior confirm this? Do you feel the same about him/her and does your behavior towards him/her confirm this?
Concerning my relationship with John, my criteria was simple. After five years of earnestly seeking the Lord after my divorce, I thought I might like to go out or perhaps have a meaningful relationship with someone. So, in prayer I sought the Lord and asked for a man who was a man after God’s own heart. My logic was that if this man loved God most, he would certainly know how to love me. God heard and answered my prayer by bringing John and I together. Although our backgrounds were very different, our values and beliefs were the same.
I learned quite a bit about relationship in preparation for and in being married to John. I guess that most importantly, we needed to keep God first in our marriage and develop our relationship God’s way. Next week I will speak more about God’s ideas about marriage.
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