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Writer's pictureFrances Marx

What Does God Say About Marriage? - Part 1 of 2


Here are some Scriptures that help us identify how God wants us to live with each other in marriage. Now ladies, when you read the word submit, do not freak out. We are all to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Eph. 5:21). As a young woman, I was extremely independent, to the point where in all my relationships, it was my way or the highway. So, I am not one who will let another person use me as a doormat. What I learned from being married to John was that if we would follow God’s order in our marriage, my life would be much easier.


God’s order for marriage: Husband-final authority and respected by wife; Wife – equal partner and treated tenderly with God’s definition of love; Children – under loving leadership of parents.

This concept of God’s order was very foreign to me, but after being prepared by God for my upcoming marriage, and being willing to receive God’s love from John, I trusted and was blessed.


Before this, I felt responsible for everything. This led to a lot of stress and feeling unappreciated for trying to do everything. Under God’s direction, the husband has a great deal of responsibility in being the head of the home. Under my husband’s protection, I was no longer responsible for everything. As I released my efforts to control everything and embraced being under John’s protection, my life became so much easier and stress free.


John was willing to step up to be the head of our home – to protect us, guide us, and love us. He gave himself up for us as Christ loves the church and gave himself up for it.


Ephesians 5: 21-33 "And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of His body. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."


1 Peter 3-5,7 In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives. Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands…Husbands, if you want your prayers to be answered, I encourage you to read and embrace 1 Peter 3:7 "In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be (physically) weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered."


Some pretty powerful directions, but with God's help and your willingness to partner with Him, your marriage will be above and beyond anything you can think or imagine, because God's ways are not our ways. (Isaiah 55:8-9 NIV "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.")



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